What You Don’t Have to Do to Win Major Gifts

As fall fundraising season picks up, our to-do lists get longer, our campaigns get louder, and our internal pressure dials all the way up.

But if you’re part of our Community of Care, you already know something different is possible.

In our work coaching hundreds of fundraisers and nonprofit leaders, we’ve seen the most transformative giving come not from polished perfection or high-stakes hustle—but from trust, clarity, consent, and conversation. That’s what values-based major giving is all about.

So before you send that next email, spend another hour tweaking a proposal, or spiral about a donor who’s gone quiet—we want to offer you something new:

👇🏽 A To Don’t List for Major Giving.

The Values-Based Major Giving To Don’t List

🛑 To Don’t: Stress if a donor doesn’t get back to you.

Your timeline isn’t always their timeline. Donors operate on their own rhythms—what we lovingly call donor time. If they ghosted you over the summer, don’t assume they’re out. Wait a season (hint: fall is right around the corner), then try again.

🛑 To Don’t: Ask for a gift without saying you’re going to ask for a gift.

One of the biggest mindset shifts we teach is the Pre-Ask—a values-based moment of consent that changes everything. More on this below. For now, just remember: surprise asks are not empowering. Preparation is.

🛑 To Don’t: Over-design or over-produce materials for a donor who hasn’t asked for them.

Design is not the differentiator—clarity is. A clean proposal with a logo and clear language often does more than a glossy PDF or fancy brochure. If they ask for something in writing, give it to them. But don’t assume they need it to decide.

🛑 To Don’t: Let a donor send you on a goose chase.

When a donor says, “I know someone who might give,” it’s tempting to jump. Instead, get into Donor Organizer mode:

“Would you be willing to invite them to give with you?”

Your best leverage is the donor in front of you—not the imaginary friend they might introduce you to.

🛑 To Don’t: Count on handwritten notes to do the heavy lifting.

Yes, handwritten notes are sweet. But they don’t close major gifts. Send them because you want to, not because you think they’ll unlock a bigger ask. In fact, start by sending notes to your colleagues and staff—you’re building trust there, too.

🛑 To Don’t: Wait until you have all the details before you ask.

You don’t need a fully funded budget, every program stat, or a perfectly timed campaign to move forward. You need enough clarity to connect your donor’s values with your mission’s need. Then? Ask. Fundraising is brave work. You can do it.

🛑 Bonus To Don’t: Don’t pre-offer more info “just in case.”

We hear this all the time:

“Would you consider giving $2,000? And let me know if you need any more information…”

Stop right there. That last sentence unintentionally signals to your donor that they should ask for more info—even when they don’t need it. Instead, make the ask, pause, and wait. If they need more, they’ll tell you. And when they do, you’ll be ready.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone.

That’s why we’re here.

We’re now booking clients for 2026 for executive fundraising leadership, major gifts strategy, and guided assessments. If you want to explore working together, get your name on our radar. And as always, our free 15-minute check-ins are open whenever you need them.