Coffee Isn’t a Fundraising Strategy

Relationships don't deepen because you spend more time together. They deepen because you ask better questions.

We're not anti-coffee.

In fact, we think coffee meetings are wonderful.

As long as you know why you're having them.

We've watched a lot of fundraisers spend months—and sometimes years—having pleasant conversations with donors.

Coffee. Lunch. A tour. An event. Another coffee.

Everyone leaves feeling good.

But then someone asks, “So…where do you think they’re headed as a donor?”

And the honest answer is: “We’re not really sure.”

One of the biggest shifts we teach in Values-Based Major Giving is that relationships don’t deepen because you spend more time together.

They deepen because you have more meaningful conversations together.

That’s where money questions come in.

Not money questions like: “Would you give us $10,000?”

We mean questions about philanthropy. Questions that help you understand how someone makes decisions, what they care about, and what role your organization plays in their giving.

There are three money questions we come back to over and over again.

1. Why do you give?

Not why do you give to us.

Why do you give?

What experiences shaped your generosity? What do you hope your giving accomplishes?

This question tells you far more than another hour of small talk ever will.

2. Where does our organization fit within your philanthropy?

This one changes everything.

Are you one of many organizations they support? One of their top priorities? Their passion project? Or someone they like, but don’t yet see as central to the change they want to make?

Without asking, we’re left guessing. With asking, both you and the donor gain clarity.

3. If everything went exactly right, what would your dream gift to our organization look like?

This isn’t about today’s ask. It’s about tomorrow’s vision.

It invites donors to imagine the difference they most want to make and helps you understand what personally meaningful giving could look like for them.

Money Questions Accelerate Fundraising

Here’s what we’ve found after hundreds of these conversations:

Money questions accelerate fundraising.

Not because they’re pushy. Because they’re purposeful.

Instead of spending two years trying to figure out whether someone wants to make a significant gift, you can often understand their philanthropic thinking in two conversations.

Instead of building relationships through endless pleasant interactions, you’re building relationships through curiosity, trust, and shared purpose.

That doesn’t make fundraising less relational. It makes it more relational.

Because you’re finally talking about the thing that brought you together in the first place.

So yes, have the coffee.

Just don’t let the coffee become the strategy.

These three questions—why they give, where you fit, what they dream of giving—are just the start.

If you’d like to practice asking these questions—or learn how we teach them in Values-Based Major Giving—schedule a free 15-minute conversation.

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